Pain.

"That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt." - The Fault in Our Stars.
I haven't written in a long while and let me tell you why. Pain. Familiar feeling?
The whole experience of pain couldn't have been concluded better than this one quote i just mentioned above, at least according to me. Emotional or physical, pain demands to be acknowledged.
A few days back i had a minor accident and injured myself pretty bad. Most people cry when they get hurt, I on the other hand, looked at the worried faces of my friends and family and well my accident is now the laughing stock because of the way i tell about it to everyone! So did i successfully ignore the demands of pain to be acknowledged? I thought so. I went to college the next day and went about almost normally, as normally as someone with an almost broken ankle can go about. And then after a long looong looooooooooooooooooong and terribly painful day i came back home. By then my ankle was five times it normal size! And even then i did not acknowledge the pain. I did not cry. But then i went to change and i realised its going to be impossible for me to get out of my jeans! Good day to wear super skinnys huh?! And that is when i finally acknowledged the pain. I sat on the bathroom floor and cried my heart out for close to an hour while my mom told me that its fine that i am crying but it would be better if i at least came out of the bathroom and cried. It felt like i was crying because i was in such pain but i realised that i was crying more because of my helplessness. I recalled two other times when i sat on the bathroom floor and cried like that and both of those times were emotional pain. We categorise pain as physical and emotional but truth is both hurt just as much. Emotional pain even more if you ask me because your body heals on its own but most of us are pretty much clueless about how to heal emotionally. I am too so I'm sorry but no wise thoughts there. But everything is supposed to have a silver lining right?! I've found a few in my condition.
1. The freedom to wear sweatpants everywhere. This just has to be number one.
2. All the pampering and love from everyone.
3. You don't have to do anything other than ordering people around to do stuff for you.
But let's talk about emotional pain for a minute. I remember crying like this only when i lost two people who were really close to me, one of them in the literal sense of the term lose and the other well wutevs. In any case what i realised is that we don't cry so much because of the pain because then i would've cried pretty much as soon as i got hurt but more because of the helplessness which accompanies pain. No matter how hard you try to ignore the pain, emotional or physical, it catches up. You can run but you can't hide and you really can't run forever. What i've learned it that it's okay to have an almost nervous breakdown on the bathroom floor and cry your heart out just because you can't change into your sweatpants in spite of being home. It's also okay to sit at home like a sick person when you are a sick person! You really don't have to pretend to be strong all the time. It's okay to cry in front of some people or on the bathroom floor. Sometimes there's strength in admitting that you are weak :)

Abusive relationships

Abusive relationships. Wow! I'm a very talkative person and not much leaves me speechless but where do I even begin on this one?! I think a good starting point would be getting to know if you are in one or not. So many teenagers don't even realise the fact that they are in an abusive relationship. I'm sure so many of you reading this would have thought "My boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't hit me. Clearly this can't be me!" but lets think again. Did you know there are other forms of abuses too? For example somebody trying to control every aspect of your life? Dictating all the rules to you and threatening you in various forms if you disagree? Constantly checking your phone or e-mails and stopping you from talking to someone even when it was just a normal conversation? Pushing your family and friends out of your life? Sounds familiar? Well lets hold our horses for a minute before hitting the panic button. When you're studying psychology and read about psychological illnesses you feel like you have all those symptoms for all those illnesses but what you are told is that everyone has these symptoms but they are very mild and you need help only when these symptoms hamper your regular functioning. That can be related to an abusive relationship too i feel. Someone who loves, well love is a big word for me at least so lets stick to like, so a person who likes you will obviously be scared of losing you or want to spend time with you but its a problem only when they feel the need to talk to you all the time and when they start pushing people out of your life because of the mere fact that someone is your friend or makes you happy and when you really need to think about it or hit the panic button is when s/he threatens you with something if you do not agree. Hit all the tick marks there? Panicking? Thinking what should you do now? Well first of all sweetheart take a deeeeep breath. Its going to be okay! You can handle this shit. So here's what you should do, you should tell a friend or your elder sibling. The most effective way would be telling your parents but considering how in our country such relationships are still frowned upon most of us wouldn't want to do that but honestly its the best way out. My dad has always said this to me that no matter what shit i've done including murdering someone the first thing i should do is tell him and well we'll see what do to. Once when i was in 10th grade such a situation did arise, not murder and not even an abusive relationship, just some person threatening me with certain stuff and though i was really hesitant in telling my dad about it but fortunately i did and he took care of it. I didn't get grounded, screamed at, lectured or anything! He told me where i was at fault and then took care of it. Sounds surprisingly easy doesn't it? Yes your parents might get mad at you just for the fact of having a relationship but honestly the wrath of your parents would be nothing compared to the bad stuff that could and is happening in your relationship! I'm not saying that it's going to be all pleasant and rainbows and butterflies after telling your parents. They might be mad at you but i've learned this a long time ago that doing the right thing doesn't ensure you a happy ending but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't do it! It probably and hopefully wouldn't get that bad but i'm sure all of us have seen gumrah and crime patrol and whatever such shows and we know that we don't live in a fantasy land! Crime is a harsh reality and we think that we are too smart to let such stuff happen to us but are we? We can be if we open our eyes and look at things as they are and not as we want to see them! The easiest way to do that is to listen to your family and friends. They probably aren't lying to you about stuff. Honestly why would they? If your friends really do love you they won't judge you or give you bad crappy advice or lie about the fact that you probably are in an abusive relationship.